My Stories
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
10:10 PM
okie, i m still sick!
medicine just dun help.
went temple to pray today.
and i go ask for lots.
and i went to ask what its abt.
and the uncle told me, there's block to my fate.
i dunno if i shuld believe it or not.
argh.
i m just going crazy.
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Sunday, November 27, 2005
10:43 PM
i m sick..
hur hur..
woke up with dry throat
and went to work with sore throat.
come home with flu.
must be the stupid weather!
i need a doctor!
my tissue box is going to be empty soon.
daddy is going to the star awards!
i'm jealous.
wad more..
he get to sit in the VIP seats!
argh...!!!! i also want!!
why they dun invite family members too ah..
daddy get to sit in the front row.
near all the artistes.
watching the whole thing so clearly!
i'm jealous jealous!!
noe why he got the chance.
cos, ' hong xin da jiang shi you BONIA zhan zhu de'
wth.
since bonia sponsoring, they shuld give more tickets.
i'm upset.
i need a doctor!
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Saturday, November 26, 2005
9:43 AM
things wont turning for the better.
it nv had.
i m just imagining things.
i am thinking too much.
it nv will be good.
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Friday, November 25, 2005
10:29 PM
done my presentation for LMS today.
one project down. yay!
i still got written com, IAC, businessmgt, BCA.
this is madness.
see how stress i am now?
i don't understand why last sem doesnt feel so stress.
and i m only a YEAR ONE student.
went parkway with jas to roam ard and for dinner
fall in love with a ring. =))
and saw this handsome guy!!
i was sort of ' dian dao' la.
haha. and jas told me he was our pri sch fren!
everyone changed so much!
haha.
i'm going for durians tml!
yay! =)))
igladthatthingsaregettingbetter.
tellmeimnotthinkingtoomuch.
tellmeeverythingisgonnabefine.
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
12:05 AM
went out with baby in the morning.
we went acer service center to repair my adapter.
okie, they gave me a new one for free.
yeah! but it rained the whole day la.
we went orchard and wanted to shop.
and guess wad.
i was dragged to watch HARRY POTTER la.
the show was, okie.
not as good as i expected.
not as bad as what i heard.
and met jw n van after the movie.
its not i dun wanna wear my long skirt.
its cos its raining so heavily la.
then jw say..... haha.. go read her blog.
went for the buffet.
and guess how much it cost.
haha.. 64 bucks.
all cos of u la baby!!!
but the food there.
one word to describe.
yummy!
and there were too much to eat.
argh.. diet plan starts tml.
haha..
oh ya, we went up to the 38th floor for a drink.
mine is some strawberry vodka.
can i say it taste like some antibotics and cough medicine.
haha...
it was really fun today.
i hope everyone enjoys!
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Sunday, November 20, 2005
12:38 AM
i feel so useless.
whenever i wanna just give up
i cant.
i can no longer control myself anymore.
i m always back to square one.
i did so much things n yet, ending is always the same.
i m like someone going after a never come true dream.
one part of me feel like listening to my frens.
and just throw u aside.
another part of me,
just did the opposite.
wad am i suppose to do.
can u tell me?
i cant possibly forever gg like this.
like an idiot.
i'm going crazy each day.
thinking how good we WERE in the past.
and comparing how we ARE now.
is everything over?
u cant let me wait like this.
i need an answer.
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Saturday, November 19, 2005
8:09 PM
i cant seem to contact you..
where are you..
i m worried..
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Friday, November 18, 2005
10:26 PM
ualwaysmakemefeelaloneandupullmebackagainyoustartshowingcarenconcerndenuthrowmetoonesideagainwhatareyoutryingtotellme
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12:34 AM
i ... i just received a news.
sad one.
steven passed away.
on sept 20th, n i din realised.
we all din realised.
why the hell din we read newspapers..
he was a guy, once very closed to me, to my frens.
there's a period where we hang out together.
and i remembered, the day i met him was on 7 july 2003.
he and his twin brother, ivan, were working in a blading shop.
and that day, we were having bbq at ecp.
we went over to that shop and rent blading shoes.
that's how we got to know each other.
he was a very cheerful guy,
he was nice, and we all came out with a verdict that he knows how to think more than his bro.
we all chatted alot. and thats how we made frens.
and still we stayed in contact.
he was a guy who i have endless things to talk to.
he would listen, hear out ur problems, and he did not complain.
after one incident, we merely stayed in contact anymore.
we all have our stuffs to do, busy with this n that.
i din see him online anymore, rarely meet up.
soon we lost contact.
but still he is a dear fren to me.
i still remember, he once told me
' i will make my wife the happiest woman
and our wedding will be like evelyn tan and darren lin'
marrying at the beach.
he would make it the most romantic wedding ever.
but now, everything is just a dream that nv come true.
and today, when stella told me that he passed away.
and when i saw his pic on the newspaper.
i was shock, very.
i can't accept it.
i mean, can u? if one day u found out one of ur fren leaving n not coming back.
and i only realised it today.
18 of NOV.
thats like two months had passed.
i dunno how to describe my feelings now.
i m totally lost.
i dun wanna lose anyone again.
not my loved ones, not my frens, not u.
its painful in the heart.
it hurts to noe that i lost a fren.
why din i read newspapers?
i would have found out much earlier.
i hate what i m feeling right now.
why? why is it always until u lose something
and that something will nv come back
den u realised u actually treasure that thing alot?
and the worst part
is when u found out u got no chance to tell him that u treasure our friendship.
u cant tell him u love him anymore?
and thats when u realised how important he is to you.
too late.
what u lost will nv come back.NEVERvanessa, jinwei, peishan, xiaoshi, xinying, i love you pple alot. really alot.yufen, frens forever.frens ard me, i do treasure ui nv leave my family.
i dun wanna lose u pple. not in this life.idunwannaloseutoo.notanymore.ilearnt.
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Thursday, November 17, 2005
6:25 PM
i always hope everything will be sunshine after rain.
but it doenst seem so.
i feel so confused.
in fact, i dunno what to do.
and i feel like a fool.
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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
1:09 PM
today lesson starts at one.
haha...
BCA ,which explains why i m using my laptop now.
okies, tutor just explain that its e-learning week for BCA next week.
which means, no lecture, no tutorial, no workshop.
arent u jealous? haha.
i knew someone will be =)
yesterday, as usual, school ends at 12.
went with jas n james for their haircut.
and mr james lee go complaining abt how childish his haircut is.
too late la..
haha.
we went SGH den.
long queue there...
okies, i wasn't the one going for checkup.
i m just accompanying jas for her checkup.
oh ya, lang ping was ard too.
and he did stupid things la.
we went city hall AGAIN.
and i was starving like hell la.
and i got an urge to eat everything in suntec.
i suspect something.haha.
pool later on..
me n james were playing 'hai dai' game.
when lp came out with some dirty game la.
irritating. but i was laughing so hard.
haha..
imhappiethatucalled.
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Monday, November 14, 2005
8:16 PM
wanna hear how sucky my presentation is?
continue reading den.
okay, first, we took like fifteen mins to project everything!
screw the projector system in the sch..
den i was talking like some dead person.
monotone.
if there is this pitch thingy, it will be one straight line.
and i was so tired, till i keep reading the wrong word.
i LOVE BUSINESS MANAGMENT so much!
argh. it totally sucks.
after this presentation,
another project due soon.
LMS- life manangement skills.
and this requires filming and report writing.
yes, it means lots of research and less sleep.
wish me luck okie.
takecareofurself,istillneedyouwithme.
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9:37 AM
put urself in a shoe where,
early in the morning u drag urself up for school
and first lesson is POA lecture.
carrying a 1.7kg laptop and a thick POA textbook.
rushing out of the house to wait for bus.
and realised u forgot all your stationery at home.
you din went home to take cos u are almost late!
and when u got up ur forty mins journey bus ride,
u remember u left ur POA and BMGT tutorial works at home.
ya, thats what happen to me today!
i know u are gonna laugh!okies, laugh please..ON
MONDAY!
what the hell.
my mind and body are not connecting.
my mind is just not working right.
presentation later will be a disaster, i know.
i sort of have no mood to do all the talking later.
i bet all rubbish and craps will come out later from me.
BUSNIESS MANAGEMENT.
i m doing a lecture summary presentation on it.
seriously, to all pple who wanna get into a business course.
it ain't as fun as u all think it is.
its no fun
in fact, its a very dry course.
what u will study is about IT, accounts, econs, statistics, communication skills, right behaviours.
and they are really boring.
imagine urself having four projects on hands when it is only third week of sch?
and they are dued week after week?
reports and more reports.
presentations and more presentations.
projects!im going crazy!
and CRANKY
ineedyoutell me u will be by my side. willyou?
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12:59 AM
argh... let me scream!!!!
i got lots of stuffs inside me.
whereby i dunno how to handle,
i dunno what to do!
i m like having a presentation in a few hours time.
and i m supposed to be in bed now.
and i m not!
i m still struggling on my work.
with all these shitty projects.
i m out to complain!
nicole is sick and cant go sch later.
and we got a presentation.
but i cant blame her, she is sick.
and so, i have to finish the whole ppt.
and i m glad i got yawen to help.
and i gotta present it with jason.
and he keeps telling me its easy.
like,
HELLO?!i dun wan to only get a 5 marks for it.
i aim for a 8 or 9 marks.
this is like the easiest way to get marks la.
freaking 10%
anyway, get well soon nicole!and i got my BCA tutorial to do
its dued like hours later also..
i m like a fool trying to figure out how to use excel.
why din i go explore it in the begining.
argh.
and i m like having my monday blue now.
yes, now,
1.11 AM.
begining of the week, beginnig of the day
when i m supposed to be in bed,
doing this shitty things.
projects are seriously damaging to health.
poly life sucks actually.
and i kept missing you every moment..
MISHELLE TIEW!whats the problem with you.you need your brain in better use.half dead!
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Sunday, November 13, 2005
12:23 AM
that's us. if only i have a reason to smile everyday, just like how i did yesterday..
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12:21 AM
one....
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12:21 AM
2*
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12:20 AM
our hands are supposed to show a '5'
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12:20 AM
blurred...
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Saturday, November 12, 2005
11:03 PM
12 of Nov.
har!
one yr.
one whole year.
still remember wad happen?
the phone call, that msg.
i realised that i m such failure..
both the past and the future.
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9:29 PM
had my IAC module ytd.
something related to sociology..
tutor was talking abt human beings..
how unpredictable they are.
so guys, its not only gals who are unpredictable, u are too.
there are pple in the world who eats humans.
cannibals..
they probably got sick of all animal meats ah..
there are pple who have sexual desires in corpses.
CORPSES eh..
seriously, wads wrong with them.
there are perfectly living human beings ard them
and they would rather have sex with corpse.
digusting, isnt it.
humans are changing and changing.
we wont noe wad they will be thinking nowadays.
andidunnowadsonurmindeither.
went for a movie today with alvin n yong tian.
shop all ard orchard.
yes, ORCHARD again.
and i just went there ytd.
soon, it will become the boring place ever ya..
saw van and xy on the way home.
haiz.
wads going on.
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8:30 PM
i'm with alvin....
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Thursday, November 10, 2005
10:39 PM
ever heard of
' it's not finding the right person,
but being the right person' ?
one of my lecturers told us this.
she said, why bother go look for the right person?
be the right person, plenty of pple will come.
ya, true. i agree with her.
with past experiences, with examples around me.
i found out that in a relationship, a party tend to want another to change sth abt them.
in the first place, why did u fall for them?
u have got no right to demand a change in them for u.
u dun owned him/her cos they are the ones u loved.
love them, love them as a whole.
dun say u love them, when u expect them to be someone u want.
sometimes, i feel that humans are just a bunch of fools.
they choose to do things that hurt themselves, directly, indirectly.
like going into a relationship, they knew will fail.
doing things they knew will hurt others.
they are selfish, ignorant, self centred, , , , ..
they only think of themselves.
i despise people of these kind.
i hate people with these behaviour.
i despise myself, i hate myself, and i see myself somewhere there too..
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5:52 PM
im in school, doing some business management ppt.
argh, its only the second week
and i got projects piling up.
written com, busniess managment, BCA.
poly arent that good actually.
i still got two years there.
just talked to baby just now.
gonna celebrate your birthday in mandarin hotel right?
having buffet for dinner.
and later go up to the 38th floor for drink, think so too.
haha.
hope that we will all have fun on the 22nd!!
=)
tml is pay day.
haha, means, shopping time!
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Wednesday, November 09, 2005
9:26 AM
i just need u to give me the attention like the past
and like me like how u did in the past..
i can even not care abt wad other thinks.
i only wana noe how u feel.
if i shuld really give up, will u just tell me.
is it really so difficult?
what u mean by timing isnt right.
i feel so disappointed in myself.
i m such a fool
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Tuesday, November 08, 2005
9:46 PM
i wanna give up.
i feel like giving up.
shuld i?
jwaskme,whydoistillbother.buticantanswerher.idunnowhy.inoeusurethinkimsillyde.jwsorriebutireallycantstop.
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8:46 PM
sch was till 12 today.
was supposed to go with jasmine to SGH.
but something crop up..
next tues den.
town-ed with jw today.
from OG to far east den to taka.
i'm already thinking of what to buy for my new year clothes.
next new year, i wanna get a dress.
haha...
mummy says i m crazy.
anyway, i m going to get that dress!!
gg back to office with raymond on fri to collect pay.
and meet up with jw together.
and i noe, soon, that pay of mine will be gone.
haha.
wanna watch ' just like heaven'anyone?
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Monday, November 07, 2005
10:52 PM
school today starts at 9 and end at 4.
i'm getting restless and more restless.
something's wrong..haha..
POA and POA.
accounts dun really rocks ah..
met jasmine and james after sch.
waited for them till five.
and took bus back together.
left something at his house.
well, i dunno why i did that.
probably out of my mind.
if you dun like someone,
will you talk to her till really late at night.
msg her everyday.
dun even care u need ur slp?
and where am i?
i wasn't feeling good.
and went bugis with jasmine in the end.
its time to spend money when one dun feel good inside.
and i bought a pair of jeans.
haha..
that stupid yf, took wrong bus
came bugis instead of go home.
alone la!
den we walk all around.
did stupid things..
like gg on a bus and getting down one stop later.
stupid right.
after that, three of us so tired.
dun even got mood to chat.
haha...
tomorrow is 9-12.
yea!
imissyou
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Sunday, November 06, 2005
10:21 PM
guess wad i saw today.
a trans.
gosh, 1.9 M or taller.
skinny with muscles all ard.
wearing almost bare back black dress
black stockings
maggie mee hairstyle.
super tall high heels, when so tall le.
and i was looking at her. him.
controlling my laughter.
and he was looking at me. directly.
and there i was, laughing with edmund.
haha.
we went , ' wah...' and 'gosh'
and laugh all the way.
he was telling me that maybe its someone from gotcha.
stupid right.
and that person was like cat- walk-ing.
walking left to right.
up and down the escalator.
argh.
i'm so stupid.
i did something.
which i dunno if its right or wrong.
i wonder if i did too much.
too much for you.
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Saturday, November 05, 2005
12:51 AM
went to get a hair cut today..
seriously i dunno how i look..
argh...
i got two different hair lengths now..
a really rreally long one.
and a really really really short one..
it costs me freaking
36 bucks.
the most expensive hair cut in my life.
haha..
but the hairstylist is good.
i just told him
'
i wan a change of a new hairstylebut i wanna keep it long'and den he cut it out for me..
he told me to go for soft curls than rebonding with my new haircut.
i thinking if i shuld..
any suggestions?
pics of my haircut is below..
scroll downnnnn..
=)
new haristyle means
NEW LIFEright vanessa?
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12:50 AM
closer look..
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12:50 AM
after..
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12:49 AM
and after..
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12:49 AM
this is before..
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Thursday, November 03, 2005
10:00 AM
am i doing the wrong things?
his actions, and everything made me feel so..
why did i ever try to ask him that..
and make myself suffer miserable in the end.
wad am i supposed to do..
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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
6:58 PM
yesterday was a disaster.
if only we waited and queued..
haiz.
anyway, i m sorrie frens.
sorrie van,jw,gh,ted,cl,ck,yp.
i din noe this type of things will happen.
feel really guilty abt it.
everybody in the end id not have fun.
and wasted so much.
i'm sorrie.
am i doin the right thing?
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